Getting into your first relationship is exciting. After all the hours you’ve spent over-analyzing every text, all the flirting, and all the Instagram stalking you’ve done, you’re finally dating the person you’ve been hardcore crushing on. But when I got into my first relationship, I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. I’m sure a lot of you feel the same way. So, to help you out, here’s 5 five things I wish I knew before I started dating.
- Space is important for a healthy relationship.
I know, I know. Your S/O is really cute and amazing and you just want to spend every second of every day with them. But your S/O should not be your whole life! While it’s completely normal to spend a lot of time with them, especially in the beginning, remember that you are your own person and that you need time alone to grow and mature as an individual. And don’t forget about your friends and family! They were there way before your S/O came along and shouldn’t be tossed aside just because you’re in a relationship now.
- It’s okay to love who you love.
Everyone remembers their first love, and mine was this nerdy guy that sat next to me in English class. He was really sweet and treated me like a queen. But throughout our relationship, people would always tell me that he was “weird” and “ugly” and told me that I could do so much better than him. Their words made me feel ashamed and embarrassed for liking him. I ended up breaking up with him because of what they said, even though he was super sweet and nice. Don’t make the same mistake as I did. Never let anyone make you feel like there’s something wrong with you for loving who you love. As long as your S/O treats you right and makes your life better, forget about what anyone else says! Your happiness is all that matters 🙂
- Know your self worth.
I let my exes get away with a lot when I was with them. I constantly felt drained and unhappy in these relationships because they kept treating me like trash. Every time I confronted them about it, I bought all their lame excuses and gave them endless chances, even though they definitely didn’t deserve it. If you find yourself constantly unhappy because of how they treat you and you aren’t seeing a change in their behavior, think about whether you really want to be with them or not. You’re all kings and queens and you deserve someone who treats you that way!
- Communication is key!
Your S/O isn’t a mind reader! Always tell them how you’re feeling or what’s on your mind. You feel like your S/O isn’t appreciating you enough? Tell them! They said something that upset you? Tell them! You want to get In-N-Out for lunch? TELL THEM. Even if your inner dark Kermit is telling you not to, don’t listen to him and communicate with your S/O! It’s a simple solution that’ll save you from a lot of arguments and heartache later.
- It’s not going to be easy.
I know it seems impossible that your S/O would ever hurt you- they’re cute and funny and they make you so happy. But every relationship has its ups and downs, and you will get hurt during one of the low points. No one’s perfect, not even your S/O, and in order for it to last, both of you need to put in effort to get past these challenges and make your relationship stronger. Relationships are hard work and it’s not always going to be easy, but the highs will make going through the lows worth it.
Meet the Author
Hi guys! My name’s Cynthia and I’m a first year Psychological and Brain Science and Communication double major here at UCSB. I’m from a small town in the Bay Area about five hours away from here. In my free time, I like to go to the beach, pet cute dogs, and hang out with my friends. I hope you find our blog helpful! 🙂
Relationships 